"I finally gave my mom what she really wanted on Mother’s Day. "My advice for a 21-year-old: Don’t drink and vote." On Thanksgiving Day football games These totally real (and hilarious) Butterball hotline calls will make you laugh just as much as these funny Thanksgiving quotes. Your server might also be unable to connect to Instagram at this time.Make sure this account has posts available on instagram.com. Thanksgiving is so much more. "I’ve been married 14 years and I have three kids. CTRL + SPACE for auto-complete.This error message is only visible to WordPress adminsThis website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website.

She said, “Not yet, but we placed an ad.” Funny mother jokes and one-liners for all moms and their offspring.Unless otherwise credited, all content ©2012 JokeQuote.com. This is not coincidence. ); How many cooks does it …

Thank you. Top Thanksgiving Status Updates: Wondering why we stuff bread into a bird?

Don't worry, I'll be at Denny's again.Fun Prank: Once people are finished, tell them your signature Thanksgiving Bloody Mary gets most of its' flavor from raw turkey gizzards.I love Thanksgiving!

May you have a Happy Thanksgiving!A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.Some friendships become more beautiful over time. - Uncle Spike, every year since his paroleThank God I can start calling this my "holiday weight".Leftover pie is the only thing I'll be fighting for on Black Friday.Relationship Status: Stuffing the Thanksgiving turkey without innuendo or irony.Native American: Great meal.

Funny quotes, sayings, photos, songs, videos and more.

Lots of food, a well-deserved nap after eating and a warm cup of eggnog to end the day. The Joke Game is the EASIEST way to have a hilarious party. Let’s enjoy this happy occasion and share happy thanksgiving statuses, short thanksgiving day quotes with our friends and others to show our gratitude and thankfulness. After-all it’s a great celebration before Christmas. Thank You!God is glorified, not by our groans, but by our thanksgivings.Thanksgiving day is something we should strive to live every day of the year.What I love about Thanksgiving is that it sets the mood for a perfect Christmas!

802 X is Cooking pork chops in the toaster Submitted: 12-10-2008 13:11 by Richie; 9770 X thinks my family is afraid of me cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Wait until you taste their pumpkin pie! In football, half-time takes 12 minutes.

Hoping that this Thanksgiving will be your best one yet!Thanksgiving is a vegetarian’s worst nightmare…! For the leftovers! Let’s enjoy this happy occasion and share happy thanksgiving statuses, short thanksgiving day quotes with our friends and others to show our gratitude and thankfulness. Searching the best thanksgiving facebook status?

Now stop hiding in the broom closet reading tweets and get back with your family.The doctor told me I can't drive a forklift on the medication he prescribed.

Your server might also be unable to connect to Instagram at this time.There may be an issue with the Instagram Access Token that you are using. funny sayings and quotes image funny life movie quotes. Your server might also be unable to connect to Instagram at this time.There may be an issue with the Instagram Access Token that you are using.

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes Group 2. ~Johnny Carson (From our 4.5-star Rated Funny Status Updates iPhone App – Update coming soon! Replies. Or check out last years Status Updates for Thanksgiving. "The sweet nostalgia of Thanksgiving when we all admire Nana’s prized soup tureen, which she brought with her when she emigrated from Sears.I love spending Thanksgiving surrounded by all these great friends I met in the Best Buy parking lot.I'm thankful for each and every one of you.

Wearing a bed sheet as a toga because nothing fits.You can tell a lot about a person by how early their neighbors call the cops on Thanksgiving.Fun game: Text your mom on Thanksgiving afternoon "How many minutes do I microwave a 25lb frozen turkey? (From our 4.5Star Rated: ★★★★★ iPhone App ★★★★★) Happy Thanksgiving! FunnySays.com – Get Funny Quote Says.

Have you used one to say “thank you?”Thanksgiving is the best holiday!

Kids: "Thanksgiving is boring." The world's greatest collection of Funny Facebook status updates. "*switches the place cards so I'm sitting next to the mashed potatoes*Before Thanksgiving guests arrive, wedge a chair under the hall closet door knob and, when they ask about it, nervously change the subject.unique to this site, and may only be used with permission.

But these funny thanksgiving memes are here to let you remember what makes the thanksgiving … Happy Thanksgiving 2019 Jokes, Funny GIF, Status, Memes: – Thanksgiving Day just to arrive and every one of us especially kids and children waiting eagerly for the celebration.Because preschoolers, toddlers and students enjoyed most of the festival and event celebration as they love parties and fun.