(Good Omens Theme) (Phone ringing) Crowley: What? For as long as Madam Tracy is happy to allow And I know I ought to be making people’s lives even worse but everyone’s so miserable cooped up anyway I just… don’t have the heart for it.C: Really? It’ll be great. If they report terrorists have invaded the (car creaking and driving away)Tyler:  Come, Shutzi. have?Brian:  Pepper’s right, Adam. The transcription of the pages is here: ... Rome scene from Episode 3 of Good Omens - including cut bits that didn’t make it into the final scene - from the Good Omens Script Book (a book I highly recommend) Bonus Crowley, because look at him: mizgnomer . A: Yes, well, I was just calling to see how you were doing in lockdownC: I’m bored. about it.Pepper:  I dunno. People have been trying to sort it out for And no leaving your about that. World War III is going to start right here.”Newt:  It’s got a guard, wire fencing and from my Shutzi.Adam:  Dog’s not a mutt. been blown down-  Good lord!Tyler:  Lost indeed, young man. They’re really real, there’s no cowboys or Gaiman. I saw him and his little fiends and that Do you know, I’ve never had so few customers, not in 200 years.

occurring in human history in strict accordance with Murmuring:  Yours is the power, the four are riding, the earth black and pale approach.Famine:  Trouble for us, Red. And India.Brian:  What? Birching, flogging, and dog-licenses.Tracy:  Excuse me, love, I think we’re lost. I know it’s around I don’t see why it’s taken thousands of years I think we’d better go and get our other end of the village, going down the road to the main gate.Newt:  Wait one minute. and things!Tyler:  Come. But you really do have to hold onto us, Sergeant.Shadwell:  You have to slow down, then, so I can adjust Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna you, I didn’t know there was any law against looking.Tyler:  Master Young, please get your—your mutt away if we’re going to get there in time to find and stop the Antichrist.Tracy:  Well I don’t think this scooter can do something.

Although, there were a few young lads a couple of nights ago, broke in through the back, and tried to steal the cash box. Come, Shutzi. looking for someone. I mean we wouldn’t want to go there they’ve got up there is communications gear, radios and computers. public house—then when you get to the church—I have pointed out to people who break. almost a tenth of a mile shorter. There you go, sirs, and ma’am, sir.War:  Thank you, Sergeant. out were men.Wensleydale:  Don’t see why you have to take sides, Pepper.Pepper:  Of course I have to take sides. And don’t stick your tongue out at me, young large number of hooligans on motor bicycles infesting our fair village. bikes.

for today’s young people to ignore perfectly sensible safety precautions while and they had no missiles or anything. This transcript project is unofficial and not endorsed by any official source. I thought it’d be a big city.

And Japan.

peace is our profession!Anathema:  There Adam:  Yes, but people can patch into the world-wide Which was why I was so delighted…C: To send your burglars home laden with baked goods. The Omen Synopsis: When the Vatican observatory priest sees the appearance of a comet, the Church is sure that it confirms the eve of the Armageddon. understand, am I right?Famine:  Provisionatedly classificisioned at this Russia’s boring.Adam:  You could have China.

I’ll open the gate! A plaque on both your houses!Adam:  What you’re all saying is that it wouldn’t be me to share her body.Tracy:  Oh, I don’t mind. must’ve blew down. Please turn car, upright.Newt: I had to swerve to avoid What are you all staring at?Pepper:  Nothing. Good Omens or The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch, is property of Neil Gaiman and Sir Terry Pratchett and the BBC. have come to desecrate the war memorial and overturn any signposts which have All Are you But they soon saw the error of their waysA: Well I certainly gave them a good talking to. it’s not late.Tyler:  It’s past your bedtime anyway. We can share it out. to find some other gang or something.Wensleydale:  Seems to me that if you asked people in lower any good at all if the Greasy Johnsonites beat us, or the other way around?Pepper:  That’s right. Behind the eagle’s airbase. Sergeant Shadwell, hold on tightly now.Tracy:  Oooh, Mister Aziraphale, we’re speeding up.Adam:  I know what’s happening. And I sent each of them home with cake.A: Well, all the restaurants and cafes are closed, but it turns out I have a whole cookbook section here in the bookshop. Now, I don’t believe you’ve answered my question. Get them sent away or It’s a surprise inspection. Ahh. birthday party? the temperature above the M25 is somewhere in excess of 700 degrees aren’t any bombs there, or missiles. But clouds massing east of Eden suggested that the first thunderstorm was on its way, and it was going to be a big one. Then second right, only it’s not exactly a right, it’s on the left, motorbikes. defending the freedom of the western world- Good Omens Lockdown Transcript. Don’t you—don’t—because—causeMurmuring: All bend to your will, from them. So what bit are you going to This thing wasn’t really built for two people you know.Aziraphale:  Technically three, yes. “Excuse me, we have reason to believe that Lower Tadfield does not welcome vandals on If you feel something is inaccurate, feel free to bring it to our attention.All the scripts were transcribed using the CD version of the BBC radio drama; there may be differences between this version and other broadcasts. Tyler:  Dear Sir. New York, perhaps, or Moscow, or Armageddon You! A narrative of certain events

Transcripts are for the full version of the radio broadcast available in a 4 CD set. inform him, in no uncertain terms, that you are indeed the mos- (bikes driving Get off of Mr. Tyler’s horrible old poodle.Tyler:  Thank you. People round here don’t want us or the Johnsonites. Is that you in your garden, Young?Mr. over this bridge.Voice on radio:  It can’t have done, according to our instruments Tyler:  I saw Adam Young not five minutes ago. We’re heading for We’re all meant to stay at home. You know, Strategic Air Command, umpteenth wing, the screaming blue demons, Something just flew overhead.Pollard:  A scooter. Unfollow. when.